Don’t Swallow Your Emotion. Lest Suicidal Spirit Comes After You.

Suicide issues are now so common. Dishearteningly sad. It is the fourth leading cause of death in the United States. In the Philippines, at least one Pinoy commits suicide every day according to a study by Natasha Goulbourn Foundation. Its major cause is depression and lack of hope.

In most cases, people who have suicidal attempts at the back of their brain are often recognizable by their lack of interest in life, and their depression is visible on their faces. And here I thought that merry and energetic people could be less expected to have suicidal attempts. Unfortunately, of course, I thought wrong. Because even those people who are always merry and happy-go-lucky in their lives, they actually have deep source of sorrow and depression within.

Recently, and just this week, a friend of mine and a classmate, has been admitted to the hospital. The reason? He attempted suicide. In fact, he did not attempted suicide—he did really commit suicide by drinking a mixed of muriatic acid and baygon. Fortunately, God has still a plan for his life and has given him a chance to live because someone from his boarding house saw him in his room and brought him immediately to the nearest hospital. Right now he has a third degree burn on his throat and lungs. Eventually, he could not eat any solid neither drink a water. But he lives.

I was surprised, of course, when I heard the news about his suicide attempt. He was someone who was so merry, happy-go-lucky, energetic, and a very active person. I especially like his karate moves and techniques (he’s a black belter). He even taught us about his turning back kick, a defense move good for emergency cases, especially that we are girls. When we’re in a group, he was often the one who initiates the laughing scene.

We’re not that close, but I know that he doesn’t share his emotions to anyone including his closest friends. He keeps it to himself. He was someone who could not dare to share what his real insights and feelings are. One of his close friends said to me, “He thought he was left alone. That no one is on his side anymore. He couldn’t tell us because he was afraid that we won’t understand.”

It’s because of our deep concern of our emotions that we are blinded to see the truth and the real beauty of life. Humans are so emotional. Our emotions come from God because God has emotions. However, our emotions are full of fleshly desires and we rely to our own understanding.

People disregard God’s emotions because they are so concern of their own feelings. Whatever they feel they keep it to themselves especially when they don’t know how to share. Until they come to a point that they cannot contain the emotions any longer. Then they will start questioning, WHY? Why…why…of all people, it’s me? Most often than not, they will blame God for the perils and unceasing struggles happening in their lives.

And they miss one thing…

They keep their emotions to themselves alone, instead of laying them down to God.  

We often forgot that in everything we do, in whatever we face, we should always remember God. We are so concern of our own struggles and principles that we forgot to look up to God to ask for His guidance and mercy. If we keep our emotions to ourselves, and when we dwell on it not looking up to God, someone is actually rejoicing for you—Satan. The enemy is legalistic and he will use your difficult situation against you. He will use your own emotion against you. And against God. The devil will inflict negatives thoughts to your mind and if you don’t trust in the LORD, the spirit of suicide will surely come after you.

If you dwell on your own emotions so much, negative thoughts will reinforce in your mind. It’s always better to engage in a small spiritual group, or to learn to speak out your emotions to someone you trust, because in that way you will be guided. If you share what’s bothering you inside then there’s a greater chance to avoid loneliness and hopelessness. Because you will receive advises and counsels. And you will have more understanding about the situation and you not only dwell on your own.

If you know someone who is currently depressed and sad, approach that person in whatever way you can. You do not know…you might be the person that God has sent to save that depressed person from his current dilemma.

Conclusion: Do not dwell on your own emotions and understanding. Always look up to God whose heart can be trusted. Look for someone you can share your emotions and problems with, in that way you will receive counsel and advise. More importantly, do not entertain the spirit of suicide and loneliness. Because we don’t have the right to kill our lives, for it is not our own.

“Be not overly wicked; neither be a fool. Why should you die before your time?”(Ecclesiastes 7:17 ESV) 

All articles are written by Jenine Silos. Unless otherwise stated.

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